I think I’m healing but I’m not sure.
suddenly my symptoms emerge
like blue’s clues:
clues to these blues
comfort in the chilling rain
pain-smudged fountain pen confessions
in blue ink
knocking at my dreams
memories of wistful happiness
reanimation of lost love
I just want to be easy to love
do I keep my feelings in a jar?
pain painted with a coat of smiles?
blue & grey
streaks of grey sunlight
casting morose shadows
on aching mourning-spent sheets
glaring sunshine and mocking cotton clouds
absorbing remnants of despair
a reservoir for blue tears
if you shake it up
the waves return unbidden
submerged in the grief
softened scabs fall off wounds
having to start from scratch
so I think I’m healing but I’m not sure.
Inspired by BTS’s lyricism, I wanted to explore my personal journey through grief and mental illness and the notion of healing as a cyclical, rather than linear, process.
Tessa is a Canadian elementary teacher who fell in love with poetry in 2003 and BTS’s lyricism and performance artistry in 2018. (Canada)
Illustration by: @MJdaPoo
Thanks to #poetrydiariessdecemberprompts for the prompt “I think I’m healing but I’m not sure,” #UntidyPrompts for the prompts “I painted pain with a coat of smiles” and “I keep my feelings in a jar,” and BTS for their always-inspiring lyricism.
tessawritespoems. (2021). Blue and grey. The Rhizomatic Revolution Review , (2). https://ther3journal.com/issue-2/blue-and-grey
tessawritespoems. “Blue and Grey.” The Rhizomatic Revolution Review , no. 2, 2021. https://ther3journal.com/issue-2/blue-and-grey.
Blue and Grey by tessawritespoems is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 4.0 International License.
© tessawritespoems 2021